News

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Call For Movie Ban After Somali Pirate Attacks
Kay Tanner, Foreign Correspondent

Hollywood pirate movies are to blame for the recent spate of attacks on international shipping by Somali pirates, say campaigners in the US.

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Government Announces Plans For 'Second Sky' To Ease Heathrow Congestion
Tim Downing, Political Editor

Expansion of Heathrow won't simply require a third runway - but also a second sky, according to a secret government report obtained by News42.

The sheer volume of aircraft taking off from, and landing at, the airport means the existing sky has become congested. The report envisages that it may become completely full before the third runway reaches even 25% of its capacity.

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PM Launches Campaign To Save Sperm Banks
Tim Downing, Political Editor

The Prime Minister today launched a major campaign as a last-ditch attempt to save the UK's sperm banking industry from collapse.

'Wank for the Bank' will include media advertising, celebrity endorsements, and a commitment from MP's to play their part.

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Sperm Banking Crisis is Coming
Nick Munnie, Business Editor

The escalating crisis that has gripped US sperm banks has hit UK shores according to experts.

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Economic Crisis Hits Sperm Banks
Hugh Joorn, Economics Editor

The international banking crisis penetrated beyond the high street financial institutions this week and into the lesser-known world of the Sperm Banks.

Queues of women formed outside many branches in the US yesterday as news spread that liquidity was running low - let alone the banks' cash position.

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Gatesgategate: Billionaire Embroiled in Planning Scandal
Jay Walker, Legal Affairs Editor

The world's richest man and the UK's Countryside Minister were both denying claims last night that there had been a 'fast track' process to grant permission for a new high security gate to be installed at the billionaire's English country retreat.

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